Why me?

God doesn’t just give us grace just because. He gives us grace because there is a calling and a purpose attached to our lives. He allows grace to cover us until we come into alignment with him and eventually step into who he has called us to be. This when we can do what he’s asked us to do in the earth.

God didn’t just save me from an almost 9-year broken relationship so that I could go and sit in a corner and be ashamed of my testimony or “pretend” like I didn’t go through anything. No. I had to experience some pain, hurt, disappointments and bad news so that God could heal me and then bless me to start a ministry, “Resilient Queen”. Resilient Queen is where we uplift, help, encourage, motivate, and reach other women and let them know that if God reached down on the inside of me and healed my brokenness and helped me survive my trials then he can do the same thing for you.

Don’t be so ashamed or protective over your testimony and what you’ve gone through that it can’t help someone else who’s struggling with what you’ve overcame. Sometimes we can become so bitter or “forgetful” about what happened to us or we simply may be afraid of how others will perceive and receive us so instead we decide to keep our testimony and all of our lessons and wisdom to ourselves. Then we come in church, we go to work, or go to an event or a conference and we see someone struggling about to break down not realizing that the key to their pain lies down on the inside of you. You could probably help them but you have to be willing to be vulnerable and remove the mask first.

Being transparent this is something that I had been struggling with for 2 years and God came to me one Sunday and told me no more. It’s time. And to reassure me he confirmed it all day through the devotional that I did that day it was entitled, “brightly lit streets” where we discussed that God uses our messes as a message. We are the light in this world and someone is waiting for you to come out of hiding and tell your testimony and not be ashamed. Your testimony is not just for you. Then on Sunday I went to church and my pastor preached and he was walking all over me. He was all up in my business and had no idea what was going on. I was just crying and just in awe because it’s amazing how God speaks and he told me it’s time and then he told me what I needed to do. I say it all the time that there is a purpose for your pain. Nothing that you that you’ve gone through will be wasted.

Queen there’s grace hovering over our lives not because we’re so good but because what God has for you is so great that he wouldn’t let weapons form against you. He allowed people to walk out if you life. Addiction had to let you go not because your so strong but because of his grace. His AMAZING grace. It preserved you. Grace doesn’t mean that life can’t touch you, it means it can’t kill you. God’s grace doesn’t mean that you have to get everything right and then when you do something wrong that God can’t use you. No, God has something special for your life and his grace is with you.

Every time you wake up it’s the grace of God. Every time you’re able to move your limbs it’s the grace of God. If no harm has come towards you or you’re children it’s the grace of God. If you’re reading this blog it means that you’re still alive and have breathe in your body and it’s because of the grace of God. Honestly everyday when you wake up you should be saying good morning Father. Thank you for waking me up today, what can I do for you today because your grace has touched me and I know that I have survived for a reason and you have something for me to do in this earth.

Have you ever been curious enough to ask God why me? My pastor used to say instead of asking God to take something away from you or removing you from a situation why don’t you ask God, why me?

What are you trying to teach me?

What are you trying to show me?

Why did you chose me?

Why did you have me survive?

Specifically.

Why did my father have to leave me and walk out of my life?

Why did I have to be the one be to get molested?

Why did I have to be the one to get the uncurable std?

Why did I have to be the one to experience a divorce?

Why did my child have to pass away?

Why did my mother have to be strung out on drugs?

Sometimes we look at our situations and our issues as a punishment so we don’t bring it to God because we can become so angry and bitter that it was us who had to go through but we never think to ask God why.

I think it’s Okay to ask God why. I did!!

It’s called relationship. When you get in relationship with God and you begin to talk to him on a daily and ask him, why am I hurting so bad?

Why can’t I let this go?

Why can’t I forgive?

Why can’t I move forward?

Let me tell y’all something God is not a figment of our imagination, he’s alive, he’s watching over us and he speaks in MANY different ways and if you ask him why he will begin to reveal different things to you and help you understand why it had to be you.

Let me help you a little bit sis. It had to be you because he knew you when you were in your mother’s womb. He knew that you were built to get through it and come out on the other side. He knew that you would reach out and grab someone and pull them up. It had to be you because he has people connected to your pain and if he didn’t give you their pain you couldn’t reach out and grab them and help them. It’s all about building the Kingdom of God. The Kingdom is depending on you. The Kingdom needs some more Kings. The Kingdom needs some more Queens. You have to go through, seek God, heal properly and be a light in this dark and cruel world. Remember you are how other people see God and experience his love and his heart! There are people lined up waiting on you to get in position. There are people connected to you beautiful so it had to be you sis.

And if there is a Queen going through something right now let me encourage you. God’s word says that he will never leave you nor forsake you. That means that he’s right there with you. I. We, your fellow Queens need you to keep pushing through. That’s where that word Resilient comes in at. If you're wondering why me? The answer to your question is, it had to be you Queen. Why not you? You're a heavy weight champion sis. Act like it!